Frequently Asked Questions

There are a number of differences. Therapy can be open-ended, address many disparate topics, is led by a mental health professional with specific training, and can often continue indefinitely. Restorative justice, by contrast, does not need to be led by a mental health professional, is focused on a specific incident or pattern of behavior, has a clear goal—such as dialogue or accountability—and is designed to be time-bound.

While restorative justice can be—and hopefully is—therapeutic, it’s not a replacement for therapy. Because RJ processes can stir up uncomfortable emotions and memories, participants are encouraged to have therapeutic support throughout the process to ensure additional grounding and care.

There’s no single right moment, but a few signs can help. You might be ready if you’re no longer in immediate crisis, have support in place, and if the idea of someone being accountable to you feels meaningful or necessary.

If you’re unsure, we can start with a brief consultation to discuss readiness and what could make the process feel safe and constructive. You can schedule a call here.

This is a deeply personal decision, and there’s no single right answer. Because I do not facilitate within an official diversion program, I’m unable to facilitate processes that are currently involved in, or likely to enter, the legal system. I can, though, explore processes where the legal system has already taken its course and is complete.

Every process I’ve facilitated has been initiated by survivors who, for various reasons, decided against going through the legal system. Some were not interested in punishment or incarceration; others wanted to avoid the often painful experience survivors face in court. Still others initially sought justice through the system but found that it moved too slowly, or failed to believe or support them.

What they shared in common was a desire for something the legal system rarely provides in the aftermath of severe violence: meaningful accountability, genuine remorse, and a space to have their pain be deeply seen, heard, and held.

Wherever you’re at in thinking about this, I’m happy to speak with you about your questions and concerns.

It’s a positive sign that you want to take responsibility for your actions. However, restorative justice processes must be initiated by the person who experienced the harm.

If you’re no longer in communication, or they’ve asked for no contact, then a restorative process isn’t possible right now. What you can do instead is begin a one-on-one accountability coaching process—an opportunity to reflect, take responsibility, and grow without directly engaging the other person. This work mirrors much of what would happen in an RJ process, helping you deepen into integrity, insight, and alignment with your values.

If you’re still in connection with the person you hurt, and it would be appropriate to reach out, you can share my website with them so they can contact me directly if they’re interested.

Yes. Participation must be voluntary for everyone involved and participation can be ended at any point. This ensures that everyone is showing up willingly and with genuine interest in doing this work.

If people are forced, pressured, or coerced into participation, it undermines the potential of restorative justice: authentic apology, accountability, and growth.

Each situation is unique. Some processes unfold over a few months; others take longer depending on readiness, safety, and complexity. We move at a pace that allows for genuine trust-building and deep inner work before any direct dialogue occurs.

Check out the Restorative Dialogues page for more information on how these processes unfold.

Yes. Restorative dialogue facilitation and accountability coaching sessions take place online. In-person options are available for Bay Area residents and organizations seeking trainings or workshops, or for those who are able to pay for travel expenses.

You can share the website with family and friends who might be interested in knowing about these different ways of responding to harm. And if you have capacity, you could consider making a donation that would help offset the cost of a sliding-scale or no-fee process for those unable to pay the full amount. Thank you for considering!

You can schedule a call with me below or reach out through the contact form to book a short consultation. We’ll discuss your situation and explore whether restorative justice facilitation or accountability coaching is the right fit for your needs.