Restorative Dialogue
An invitation to healing
Restorative dialogues offer a space to come together after harm — to seek truth, accountability, and the possibility of transformation. This is deep, courageous work that moves at the pace of trust.
Every process is different. Some lead toward a facilitated dialogue between people directly involved; others take creative forms that reflect the needs and capacities of those participating.
Who is this for?
Restorative dialogues are for two or more people who wish to come together after violence, harm, or conflict. They are initiated by someone who has experienced harm and who wishes to explore a process with the person who caused it.
Many of the processes I’ve facilitated have been initiated by survivors of sexual harm, as well as by adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse seeking restorative work with their families. I’m also experienced in facilitating processes addressing other forms of violence or relational rupture.
These are processes for adults for whom the violence is over, and who are able to sit in the discomfort and emotional complexity of this work. Sometimes we need more time and space and other types of support before it’s the right time for a process like this.
What Happens in a Process
1. Initial Call
We’ll start with a brief call. This is a chance to ask questions, learn more about the process, and decide together whether it feels right to move forward.
2. Preparation
This is where most of the work happens. Each process begins by first creating emotional safety through genuine connection. From there, I draw on restorative values such as agency, presence, and emergence; both/and thinking; and power-with rather than power-over. Within a systems-aware, trauma-informed outlook, this allows the work to unfold organically and at the pace it needs to.
Participants are supported in drafting North Star goals to help guide us, while also leaving room for the magic of the moment to shape what emerges. Preparation takes place in one-on-one video calls with each person, exploring needs, fears, hopes, dreams, and readiness for dialogue.
Over time, I’ve learned that accountability and healing are best facilitated when we’re met as full, complex people with a deep, sometimes untapped capacity to face what’s hard, shift old patterns, and grow. My role is to co-create a container in which everyone involved feels secure and grounded enough to do these things.
3. Dialogue and Closing
When everyone feels ready, we plan the details — how the dialogue will unfold, what supports will help, and what care practices we’ll use along the way.
When we meet, we allow space for the conversation to move at its own pace — guided by care, courage, and presence.
After the dialogue, there’s usually a closing call with each participant to reflect, integrate, and ensure everyone feels complete with the process.
“Julian had a spacious, grounding presence. He was nurturing, validating, and nonjudgmental. He made sure I understood that consent was at the center of the process and that I could choose (and change) the direction we were heading in at any point.”
What does it cost?
Sliding scale: $50–$150 per hour, per facilitator. I can facilitate solo or with a co-facilitator from my network of colleagues. A process can take anywhere from 15–30+ hours depending on the context.
About the sliding scale
A sliding scale is a way to make this work more accessible while honoring the time, skill, and energy that go into it.
You’re invited to self-select a rate that is sustainable for you. As a general guide:
If you have access to stable income, savings, property, or other forms of wealth, contribute toward the higher end of the scale.
If you’re meeting basic needs but have little discretionary income, the middle range may be appropriate.
If you’re experiencing financial strain or limited access to income or wealth, the lower end of the scale may be available.
Depending on my own capacity at a given time, I may or may not be able to take on new processes at the lower end of the scale. If that’s the case, I’ll always be transparent about it.
We’ll talk about fees together during our first call, and I’m happy to answer any questions as we find a rate that feels fair for both of us. Payment is typically made after each session unless we’ve agreed to another arrangement.
Next steps
If this sounds like what you’re looking for, you’re welcome to schedule a call or send a message through the contact form below.
You can also learn more about my related offerings:
Accountability Coaching · Training & Workshops
“I feel I am no longer carrying around the heavy weight I was before in my everyday life of waiting for accountability and waiting for my family to be on the same page of what happened to me. I feel more confident in the world and feel I walk around a little lighter.”
If a restorative dialogue resonates with you, I invite you to schedule a call to explore what might be possible.