Restorative Dialogue
An invitation to come together after harm — to seek truth, accountability, and personal growth.
This is deep, courageous work that moves at the pace of trust.
Who is this for?
Restorative dialogues offers a path forward for people whose lives have been impacted by serious interpersonal harm — including sexual assault, dating or domestic violence, family or community conflict, and other violations of trust.
Some come to this work after months or years of reflection. Others arrive unsure if dialogue is even possible — or if they would ever want direct contact with the person who harmed them. All of those places are welcome starting points.
Importantly, these are processes for adults for whom the violence is over, and who are able to sit in the discomfort and emotional complexity of this work. Sometimes we need more time and space and other support before it’s the right time for a process like this—and that’s okay.
Why choose a restorative dialogue?
There are many reasons that people seek a dialogue.
People who have been harmed may want to have their pain acknowledged, to receive a genuine apology, or to gain a sense of closure. Further, many participants are wanting to know that the violence they experienced will not happen to anyone else ever again.
And for people who have caused harm, when given the opportunity, they choose to participate in order to take responsibility and repair what they can. Often enough, they have been wanting to do something meaningful and just needed the right support to do so.
Finally, it is important to know that exploring a dialogue does not assume a desire for reconciliation or forgiveness. Rather, these are spaces for radical honesty and showing up exactly as we are, grounded in our truth and living into our values.
“Julian had a spacious, grounding presence. He was nurturing, validating, and nonjudgmental. He made sure I understood that consent was at the center of the process and that I could choose (and change) the direction we were heading in at any point.”
The Three Main Stages of a Restorative Dialogue
There are three main stages:
-
We start with a free 30-minute call. You can share what’s bringing you here and ask any questions about how this process works.
There’s no commitment — it’s simply a chance to explore whether a restorative dialogue feels right for you.
-
This is where the majority of the work takes place, and can last between 3–12 months depending on schedules and amount of support needed.
I meet separately with each person (and anyone supporting them) to understand their story and their needs and hopes.
This includes drafting North Star goals to guide us in the process, clarifying boundaries, naming what would make the process feel safe, and exploring possible outcomes.
Some people find clarity and healing in this stage alone; others decide to move forward toward dialogue.
-
If and only if everyone feels ready and wishes to proceed, we meet in dialogue.
These conversations are structured and facilitated with clear agreements for safety and respect. You are always free to pause, stop, or reshape the process at any point.
After the dialogue, there’s usually a closing call with each participant to reflect, integrate, and mark the end of the process.
What does it cost?
Sliding scale: $50–$150 per hour, per facilitator. I can facilitate solo or with a co-facilitator from my network of colleagues. A process can take anywhere from 15–30+ hours depending on the context.
We’ll talk more about fees during our first call, and I’m happy to answer any questions as we find a rate that feels fair for both of us. Payment is typically made after each session unless we’ve agreed to another arrangement.
-
A sliding scale is a way to make this work more accessible while honoring the time, skill, and energy that go into it.
You’re invited to self-select a rate that is sustainable for you. As a general guide:
If you have access to stable income, savings, property, or other forms of wealth, contribute toward the higher end of the scale.
If you’re meeting basic needs but have little discretionary income, the middle range may be appropriate.
If you’re experiencing financial strain or limited access to income or wealth, the lower end of the scale may be available.
Depending on my own capacity at a given time, I may or may not be able to take on new processes at the lower end of the scale. If that’s the case, I’ll be transparent about it.
If you have capacity, consider making a donation to subsidize low- or no-cost processes for those unable to afford this.
Next steps
If this sounds like what you’re looking for, or even if you’re not sure, you’re welcome to schedule a call or send a message through the contact form below.
You can review the FAQ page for answers to common questions.
And you can also learn more about my related offerings: Accountability Coaching & Training & Workshops.
“I feel I am no longer carrying around the heavy weight I was before in my everyday life of waiting for accountability and waiting for my family to be on the same page of what happened to me. I feel more confident in the world and feel I walk around a little lighter.”
Start a conversation
If you’re curious about a restorative dialogue, schedule a call to explore what might be possible.